Words to live by

I stole this from a Sparks Page.

Recipe for Success!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God (or a friend) about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________'

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, Issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words:
'In five years, will this really matter?'

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

20. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!

21. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

22. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

23. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

24. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.


Learn from others, because SPARKPEOPLE seem to know what this is all about!!! Remember, the journey is as important as the destination!

BIKINI SEASON HERE I COME!!!!

"Wheresover you go, go with all your heart" - Confuscious

Funny

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive
woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken
back because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies,
' I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever
been unfaithful to his wife and asks, 'Are you the
stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the
pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner
whipped my butt with wet celery??? '
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No ........ I'm
your son's teacher.'

It wouldn't matter who became President today.

I would still have done this poorly.

You Got 3/10 Questions Right

You don't know much or care much about Obama. In fact, you don't know what all the fuss is about. You're probably either a diehard conservative or not American. Either way, you're sick of people talking about this Obama guy!

How Much Do You Know About Barack Obama?

The story of the three little pigs

The scene of the crime. The Three...er, TWO?! Little Pigs

The motive...no soap?

The Big Bad Wolf.

The victim

The evidence against the big bad wolf! Just read the carbon dust on the shower wall.

Click picture to enlarge.

I love it

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, IDten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T errorbefore?''

No,' I replied.'

Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure itout.'

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like the little shit

One is not like the other

This will probably not come as a surprise to you, but I am losing my mind. As you can see from the picture above, one is not like the other. I had placed my chap stick in my pocket earlier today and at some point I took a glue stick away from my youngest child; therefore placing it in the same pocket as the chap stick.

You see where this is going, don't you?

Yes, I, in all my wisdom, placed glue on my lip. Luckily it was just a little before I realized that the prerequisite tingle wasn't occurring upon application. Mostly just, well, stickiness. I wiped it off and applied the real stuff and I don't seem to be having a problem.

I'm sure my kids would have been delighted if I glued my lips together.