Your Cute Monster Says Your Inner Demon is Laziness

You are a deep, thoughtful, down to earth person. You don't put much stock in appearances. You are never superficial or flippant. You take time in life to study, learn, and get to know people well. You can get so caught up in your own world that you neglect everything around you. People think you're cute because you're intelligent. Your wit and wisdom are charming.

The Cute Monster Test

The Inner Me wants out!

I used to think that I wished I were someone else. But then a cat jumped off my head and I realized that the person is within me; I just have to let her out!

I mean, I could call myself a loser because even as I type this, the rest of the moms on my block are all having breakfast together and having a grand old time like they do often and I'm never invited. But really, I'm not a loser. I mean, I don't even want to be there. It would be nice to have friends, but I don't feel a connection to many of them.

I could call myself a loser because my own husband gets bored with me, but that was when I wasn't even living with him. I wish he were honest with me, but he wasn't/isn't, so I need to deal with it and move on.

There is a person inside me that is thinner, prettier, friendlier, and happier. The bitch side me that most people see these days just needs to grab a hold of the gal inside of me by her pretty little head of hair and pull her out.

Hopefully it's not too late.

So Devastated

I've been out of town, and we finally made it home. I thought I would sit down and check in on the babies I follow through blogs. Another Angel earned her wings over the weekend. My heart just aches and hurts for her family. They appear so strong in their faith, however, that I know that they will have a second chance in Heaven with their little girl.

Taking for granted

I think sometimes we all get into a rut and just take tomorrow for granted. I know that I personally often forget to just sit and look around me at those I love and care for and just thank God for the love I have in my life. I think we all need to stop sometimes and just appreciate those people that we have in our lives. It would mean a lot to your friends and family, and you may just see something that you missed before.

I have been following the story of Gracie on her Blog for some time. My heart is twisted up inside for this little girl that I have never even met. I know her Mommy, Daddy, and siblings could all use a lot of prayers for courage and strength right now. Gracie herself is moving on to the next life. I know she will be dearly missed. You can read Gracie's Blog and learn her story.

I've also been praying for personal strength to overcome the little things in life and to focus on the big things. Love, trust, honesty, hate, sorrow, happiness, bitterness, grief, longing, surprise, anger ...these are all part of life. It's up to me to pick out what is important and to focus on it.

A bright spot

Today it was really warm. My youngest and I went out during the day where I chatted with another mom for over an hour and it went well. It really lifted my spirits. Then later, I was outside for another 3.5 hours and I chatted with other parents. It was enough to stop my obsessing for a little while. It felt good.

Unfortunately, it's quiet tonight and my mind is in over drive again.

I wish it would cut that out.

A funny, though - the housing we live in thought it would be cute and "posh" to put a fountain in the water retention pond outside of our house. So there is this ugly chain link fence around this little pond with a big drain sticking into it...with a fountain. It amuses me. What can I say, I'm simple.

Can I just say?

I have not (really) parallel parked in like eight years. Today, I had to parallel park and I did it perfectly! Three point parking - score! I thought for sure I would have to just keep doing it over and over, but apparently my days of street parking stuck with me, because I got my vehicle tucked away between two other cars with no problems. I even missed the tree that was sticking out into the road, lol.

Yay, me!

Happiness is the little things in life.

Continuation

The stagnancy continues. I do not know where this restless, unhappy feeling is coming from; yet it continues with steady steps. Frankly, it's annoying the you know what out of me. I feel stuck. I feel lost. I took the older kids to school today and after I dropped them off, I just drove around in a big circle looking for where I was going. I think I can safely say I never found it. I would stop at one place, and decide that wasn't it, then moved on to another. I did this until I ended up back at home. All in all, it was two miles and 15 minutes. Not far, yet I felt so lost.

My Hubby, the sweet man, saw me lying on the couch yesterday and then put me to bed. I wasn't feeling well. I'm not sick, I just don't feel well. My tummy was upset, but I think it was the stagnancy inside me bubbling to the service. All in all, I had a very restful day yesterday, all thanks to the Tigger. Thank you, dear. It was a much needed break. I awoke around three to find that the Tigger had caught up the laundry and picked up the house. It was very sweet of him, and much needed as I have been lost in my own muck and just haven't been surfacing to take care of business.

Today I came up for air and have worked on getting the house back in order. I managed to fold and put away the laundry that the Tigger washed and dried for me, and I have the two loads still yet to do in progress. I pulled the vacuum cleaner out, but then found out my kitties have not been good kitties at all. My vacuum is drying out, as is the closet after I cleaned it up the kitties' messes. Naughty kitties. Once I am certain the vacuum is dry, I will make use of it.

Hopefully I can pull myself out of this. I just keep sinking lower and lower into the quicksand of depression with only a few quick gulps of air to keep me going.

I need a cause to fight for.